A Scripta

Eating and drinking made him sick.

Bombardier sat alone in Pocket D, where he had become friends with one of the waitresses. Since he could take off his helmet and not worry about someone taking off with it anymore, he felt he could sit in the far back and just let the cool ambiance wash over him.

When he first took off the helmet he had a huge dinner, and threw it all up hours later, undigested. Then he realized he hadn’t truly eaten for as far back as he could remember…he just never felt hungry. It was a memory to have a huge T-bone steak – a memory he didn’t need.

So as he sat with the chair tipped back against the wall, a drink sitting untouched in front of him, he listened intently to the people in the booth next to him:

“…yeah, so Burke says that they just built two memorial statues over in Steel Canyon.”

“They’re always doing that – “

“No, these’re special. They’re made of gold.”

“Screw you!”

“No kiddin’, man.”

“Yeah, like we could steal something like that – “

“Not steal it! Destroy it. Rumor is some Fortunata is ready to pay a big price for it to get destroyed because the statue is her brother, father, uncle, whatever. And she hates him. And, even better, a hero comes along to try and save it.” The voice turned sing-songy at those words. “Know what that means?”

“One less hero in the world.”

“And then you scalp ‘em!”

Bomber turned his head toward the voices. “Seriously?” he asked.

“No, not really,” came the voice. “You take their cape. Bring it over to the Facemakers, they’ll dye it to what you want an’ it’s yours. Recluse doesn’t allow capes, unless you earned it.”

“I didn’t know that.”

Then when his friends helped Glowie destroy the statues so that he could earn the right to wear the cape, he realized that maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea.

He went to Burke, who told him in no uncertain terms that he needed to secure passage to Paragon City. He connected him with Lorenzo Anzaldo over at the Recluse Docks. His friends assisted with Anzaldo’s request to take out the Longbow at a warehouse. He didn’t remember much of that night, but did remember when and where the boat to Paragon City was leaving.

So the next afternoon, he waited in the water as a tugboat with a gaudy mermaid at the prow chugged up to him. A rope was tossed down and he climbed swiftly into the boat. “Stay down,” the man said, and threw a tarp over him. Finally they pulled the tarp off of him.

“Yeah, like this one’s gonna be easy to hide,” said one of them.

“Just tell me where the statue is. I can fly there and drop out of the sky like a bomb.”

The sailors chuckled. “Sure, man. Statue’s three hundred yards due west from the train that’s right over there. Time to get off the boat.”

Bomber quietly dove off the boat and started swimming the thirty yards or so to shore.

Longbow were everywhere. Glowie would love this! He thought. But then he remembered how Glowie just froze after taking out the gang of Longbow in the warehouse. Bomber couldn’t wake him up…

“Focus, dumbass,” he muttered to himself as he dashed along the rear wall of Steel Canyon. Nobody looks behind buildings - and there was not one Longbow in that route. He came up behind a huge building and had his first view of the statue. It was made of what looked like silver, not gold!

Stupid asses, he thought angrily, as he snuck up on the nearest Longbow and shot him in the back of the head. A Longbow Flamethrower aimed at him, but his trigger finger was faster. Fire flew in both directions, catching easily in her hair but deflecting off of his jacket. She fell to the ground screaming, while he turned his attention to a group of Longbow advancing. He threw a set of caltrops, backed up, and brought out Harvey.

As he came out from next to the building, six Longbow dead behind him, he assessed the situation. The silver statue didn’t stand alone; three Longbow were guarding its corners. Fourth one must be on coffee break. He dashed to a tree directly across from one of the Longbow guards.

He threw down a small sea of caltrops, then set up Ralph right behind. He readjusted his sight, loaded a full-metal jacket bullet, and aimed at the furthest Longbow’s head. The crack of his shot seemed to echo everywhere, but didn’t.

The Longbow fell, dead. No one noticed.

That was a first. He looked down the barrel of the gun. “Nice job,” he said. “Let’s do it again.” Another re-adjustment of the scope, another full-metal jacket. He shot the one in the left-hand corner and he went down, but he was tougher. Plus he attracted attention – the one in the right-hand corner saw him and shot at him.

The Longbowman stopped at the caltrops and jerked away, but Bomber caught him square in the chest with a slug and he went down, the caltrops piercing the uniform adding more blood to the spreading pool underneath him. The second Longbowman was trying to pick him off, but Bomber rushed in and set him on fire.

Now he concentrated on the statue. He could still blow it up and gather some silver bits, sell them on the Black Market. First he set the acid mortar to soak it in acid, then he set it on fire. He watched disappointingly as it slowly turned into an unrecognizable blob. The silver pooled at his feet as he heard someone yell, “Halt in the name of Longbow!”

He shook his head, knowing that phrase sounded so phony. He threw down a set of caltrops, then set Ralph at the bottom of the stairs. “Hey!” he yelled, waving his hand, “I’m over here!” He picked off one of the Longbow to prove it.

A group of five of them, two with flamethrowers came rushing at him. He checked his tank just to be sure, then backed away from the bottom of the stairs. The Longbow, fired up by his killing one of their group, ran down the stairs and Ralph woke up, spewing poison gas everywhere.

“What’d you have for breakfast, firegirl?” he demanded as he peppered her with bullets. “Is that Twinkie bits I see? Don’t eat very healthy – “ he shot the head off another at close range. “What do aliens eat for breakfast – oh, nice shot. All over my boots.”

He put a hollow soft-point in his rifle chamber, aimed it at the alien Longbow Commander who was bobbing as he threw up. “Keep still, will you? Oh, forget it.” He pulled the trigger, hoping it would hit.

The alien’s head and half of its upper torso exploded, getting yellow blood and gore all over Bomber. “Hey! Your blood matches… um, something.” He looked back at the silver puddle that was the statue, sighing heavily. “Silver bells, silver bells, it’s Christmas time, in the city…”

He started up the stairs, and walked across the small promenade, then gave a small gasp of joy. A silver statue of a woman (“Nice ass!”) was across the way, also guarded by three Longbow.

He had nowhere to really hide and set up his traps, so he decided to use the stairs as his bastion for the moment. Throwing down the caltrops, he set up his mortar at the top of the stairs, set Ralph just four steps away from the caltrops, and took aim.

Again, the crack echoed seemingly everywhere – again the Longbow woman went down and didn’t get up. Again Bomber looked down the barrel of the gun. “You’re such a good little girl!” he crooned.

But this time the guards heard it, and so did a few others. They started up the stairs and ran head-first into Ralph. The few that could get past him without retching yelped as they hit the caltrops or as they were soaked in acid. Bomber waited a moment, switched on the flamethrower and doused them with napalm and flame.

This time he knew better – he approached the statue and started shooting at it. The grenade weakened it so it toppled over, then he shot at it to break it into manageable pieces. “Halt villain!” he heard someone yell in an echoing voice, as if the person had a bullhorn.

“'Stop in the name of Longbow!' 'Halt villain!' Stop, stop, stop! Jesus H. Christ, they’re so into this control shit, bunch of tyrants, all of ‘em. No wonder Glowie hates them.” He plucked up some large chunks of silver and tucked them into his breastplate, and turned to face his new threat.

She ran away, leaving one lonely Longbowman with a rifle firing pitifully at him.

“Are you kidding me? You?” He absently tossed a web grenade at him, holding him down. Meanwhile the brave heroine was running to the other statue. He shrugged, pulled out another hollow-point. “This’ll make a hole big enough to drive a truck through,” he said and took a few steps back to give himself some range. Just as the man broke free of the web, Bomber fired into the man’s chest and his organs exploded out through his back.

This still didn’t attract the attention of the hero, who came running up the stairs on the opposite side of the promenade, looking very confused. Bomber stayed below the other set of stairs, just beyond her line of sight, and set up his normal Ralph-'Trops-Harvey pathway. For insurance, he set up the Nurse next to the wading pool. Then he calmly approached the top of the stairs.

“Hey, sweetheart! Over here!” He threw a grenade – it knocked her down the other set of stairs. “Jesus, she’s stupid. It’ll be a good thing to put her out of her misery, don’t you think, George?” He patted the force field generator. It hummed in response.

He backed down the stairs and waited until he heard Ralph hiss. He studied imaginary fingernails as he listened to her retch. She tried to yell the normal heroic slogans at him, but caught herself being sick.

He finally looked up when she stopped, but she was holding her stomach and severely weakened. He calmly loaded the regular bullet into his rifle. She looked up at him, pleading in her eyes.

“And the cradle…will rock…” He fired and it went clean through her skull.

Quickly he yanked off the cape as she fell, making sure no blood got on it. It was blue with white lightning bolts through it. “Hey, look, it matches… nothing.”