A Scripta

Masonry opened the door to the individual therapy room and stopped, his hand on the handle of the door. "You," he whispered.

"Come in, Nate."

Masonry sat down across from the person that he hadn't seen since his time in prison. Dr. Orbison sat straight and stiff at the other side of the table.

"We have all the time you need, Nate." He uncapped a pen and poised it over paper, eyeing Masonry as he did so. He scribbled something, recapped the pen and sat back. "So how's your life been?"

"It was fine."

"Until you fucked it up again." He rattled off, counting on his fingers, "Threatening your teammates. Going to the Isles. Getting taken into the Repatriation Program at the FBSA. Assault. Murder."

"Murder?!"

"At least a dozen murders have already been pegged on you over in the Isles. You go back over there, you're dead."
"I have no plans to go back."

"You had no plans to fuck it all up, either."

"So you don't believe me."

He folded his arms across his chest. "Not a bit."

"What the hell do I have to do to satisfy you people?"

"Do what you're supposed to do, for one. What're you here for, Nate?"

"I'm a danger to myself and--"

"No, here. As a hero. What for?"

"Glory."

"You had people who worshiped you, I hear. Not good enough?"

"I had to leave them."

"Were they good enough? Rumor has it you killed them."

"Some."

"And you don't feel one bit of remorse."

"I didn't at the time. I do now."

"Did you feel anything at the time?"

"Anger."

"Who are you angry at?"

Masonry had been pondering that all day and all night. He looked up and snarled, "Everyone."

"Why?"

"You're all a threat."

"Because..?"

"You'll all hurt me."

Orbison looked at him, and gave a short laugh. "You think my life is centered around you? You think I stay up nights plotting ways to hurt you?"

"No, I--" He stopped, "No."

"So who are you angry at?"

"Myself?"

"Oh, don't start the pity parties, I didn't bring along any cake."

"You, right now."

"Good. And why?"

"Because you're insulting me."

"Something small like that statement makes you ready to jump over this table and kill me."

"Among other reasons."

"Reasons that had to do with me doing something with you that you didn't like. Don't like to think, do you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're lazy."

"I'm not getting it --"

Orbison leaned back. "I'll wait."

Masonry stared at him. What does he mean? He remembered Star's words, Stopping easy and hard. Hard to start to stop, but easy once you do it. Why is it hard to start to stop? Because you have to physically - or mentally - switch what you're doing. Like handling the mace, the momentum carries it along, and your weight's behind it as it moves through the air, but what if you know it's heading toward a target you didn't want to hit? How hard is it to stop it? You've pulled muscles by pulling back on the mace and stopping a swing. Same with the anger - it swings, heading toward its target, you need to yank it back. With Ben helping you along, validating your anger and using it, you forgot how. But you can if you really want to.

"Were you born evil?"

Masonry came out of his reverie to stare at him. "What?"

"Were you born evil? Were you set on this world to kill people?"

He blinked and thought back. "No, it wasn't until the abuse at school."

"That's when you thought you were evil?"

"I wanted to hurt them at the time, but I couldn't."

"Were you evil, then?"

"Is wanting revenge evil?"

"My question first, Nate."

Masonry said quietly, "No."

"Did the drugs make you evil?"

"No."

"Your first Kheldian made you evil?"

"No, no, I think it was before that."

"So somewhere between graduating high school and your first Kheldian, you became evil."

"I don't think evil."

"Then what."

"I know what you mean by being lazy."

Orbison gave him a nod. "Then explain it to me."

"If I'm going down a path of anger, it's easier for me to keep on going than it is to stop. It's like pulling back something you already have in motion."

Orbison nodded. "Good. It only took you ten minutes to figure it out. There's hope for you, yet." He smiled. "I can see the anger in your eyes already. What're you going to do about it?"

Masonry sighed. "Nothing."

"Because you can't, can you? You jump over this table and you'll be dead within ten minutes. You and your Kheldian."

"Jack too? They said Jack would be extrac--"

"They won't have time if you attack me now. Ah, so that stops you, the death of your Kheldian. The death of your boyfriend won't?"

"Don't bring him into this."

"He's the one whose name you utter in dreams, who you depend on, and he's refusing you. What're you going to do about it?"

He's refusing you.

Orbison sat back and buffed his nails. "Kill him, I say. He's not doing what you want. He doesn't worship you anymore, he doesn't trust you. That's what you're thinking, isn't it? You want to kill him."

"He's done nothing to me. He's always been there. I l--" He stopped.

"If you loved me like that, Nate, I would have committed suicide a long time ago." He stood up. "I have plenty of time to go through this, Nate, but you don't. Think about this: How do you stop yourself?"

"What do you mean I don't?"

"For your safety you're going to be moved to the Peregrine Island facility. Think about my question, and you won't have to worry about yours."

He disappeared from sight.