A Scripta

I don't understand, I always said good things about them, why did they say these thing to her?

Thou hast hurt them.

Will you stop throwing her words back at me?

Maybe if I talk like that you'll listen.

I am listening.

Only to what you want to hear.

...

When you get out of here, what are you going to do?

Here, solitary? Here the hospital?

You'll never get out of the hospital or jail, Nate. You'll always be kept somewhere.

::sadly:: Never trusted again.

Your choice. The sooner you accept that, the easier it will be.

What will be?

Knowing who you are.

I'm not an evil man.

Yes, you are.

I'm not like that man who hurt E.

But you could have been.

Anybody could if they just let themselves go, if they fill themselves with hate for everyone else. If they thought of themselves first and everyone else...

Sounding familiar?

What do I do?

What do you want to do? Do you want to keep going down that path of hate and anger or do you want to reform?

I want to help.

That wasn't one of the questions.

Hate and anger is so much easier.

So is that what you want to do?

Honestly?

You do want to go down the dark and twisted path, don't you? Because you've felt that for so long that you're comfortable. And that moment when it's all gone away after a murder, those moments I give you of peace, it means nothing to you.

You're trying to make me feel guilty.

I'm trying to understand. Another human who was my host felt this way also. Do you want to know what happened to him?

He was shot down like the rabid dog he was.

No. He became a captain in the Byzantine Army and was killed in the line of duty.

Did he reform himself?

No.

:: snorts:: I'm in the wrong business.

Yes.

You don't seem surprised.

I knew right after joining. But I also knew that you have the potential for change, if you want. I didn't realize how lazy you are.

Lazy?!

Lazy. You could have stopped Ben if you wanted. You could have reined him in. You could have stopped yourself from taking the drugs. You could have stopped yourself from killing those people. You're lazy. You let things happen to you. You'll never be a hero if all you do is react.

I never wanted to be a hero.

Finally! Finally you admit to it. You very well could have been that man who tortured E. Right?

What do I do?

Answer me.

right

Chew on that, Nathan.