Thursday, April 19, 2007
When the "door" opened, it was a refrigerator on the other side. Lodestar's consciousness came out of the "room" to look upon a wasteland. There were a few glimmers, but so much had been ripped out that the glimmers themselves were dim.

Did you offer yourself to her? Even the words seemed encased in ice.

No! Lodestar replied. Before, he could easily put his "finger" on Nathan's feelings and could calm him down. Now he had still closed him off. No, Star's confused. She's a Protector. I only trained N'shta in Pathfinding. The rest is in her mind.

Then why did you greet her?

You disappeared. You went to a place in your mind to calm down.

Oh, so whenever I do those things to calm down you take over?

No! I only wanted to assure her--

Why? Do you have a closer relationship to her, too?

Because Star deserved it.

He felt a moment of hot anger, followed quickly by the equivalent of a fire extinguisher.

Do you know what's stopping me?

Lodestar "nodded." Frosty.

I promised. There were more conflicting emotions, first of love, then a quick squash of it, like someone stomping hard on an ant.

Nate, why are you blocking me?

You lied. When did you come out? How often?

I came out to E and Fyre while you had gotten drunk at Pocket D. That was the only time, I swear on the stars. All the other times we have worked together. He showed Masonry the memory of their conversation outside of Crey's Folly.

The wasteland brightened for a moment, as Nathan realized that was the kind of camaraderie the team had before they all changed. He thought fleetingly of letting Lodestar out permanently, then choked that thought off quickly. Don't use me. Ever again.

I will ask from now on. Or when you can't function, I will take over if necessary.

The two wills battled. Emotions, explanations, pros and cons, tears and force battled their way across the wasteland, clashing in the center and exploding into a blazing headache that raged behind the closed eyes of Masonry as he lay on the cot in solitary. When he wasn't moving during a quick check, the guards came in.

"His eyes are moving. He's talking to his Kheld."

"He's barely breathing."

The guard with the quantum gun guided the other one to the door. "He's fine. He'll wake up."

At just a little past 11 am, Masonry opened his eyes. They had reached an agreement. When Nathan would be incapacitated, by force or by choice, Lodestar would come forward to animate and protect the body. At no other time would he do so, even if Nathan had gone to that "place". But the headache remained.

---------------------------------------------------

Masonry sat down across from Iggabuzz. "I'm back."

"Yeah," he replied, sipping something. "Come to beat the shit out of me today?"

"Actually, no." He passed the note over. Again, Igga jerked to a sitting up straight position. He placed the cup down and focused on Masonry.

"What can I do for you, Masonry?"

"What can I do for you, Styrm?"

The Freak's eyes widened. "This has happened sooner than we expected. We thought we were going to have to bargain with you."

"I was nine-tenths of the way there, I just needed a reason to push me over the line."

"And what's that reason?"

"He's rejected me for the last time."

"Oh, I doubt that."

"I'm done feeling for him. Or her. Or them."

"I doubt that too."

"And I'm done proving things." He yanked back the letter. "I prove that I'm a prick every time, so I might as well keep up that reputation."

"Nothing wrong with that when performed in the right quarters, Masonry."

"Very funny."

"I wasn't trying to be funny."

Masonry spread his hands out on the table. "What do I get for working with you? Other than the satisfaction of seeing someone who's hurt me twist around on the wind?"

"Would you like to be the one tying the knot? Or kicking the chair out from under him?"

"Them."

"Oh, you want both."

"Yes."

"We don't care what happens to the girl."

"Excellent. How lucrative is it going to be?"

"What are you looking for?"

"Free rein."

The Freak chuckled, which would have chilled Masonry if he was in the mood for feeling emotions. "I'm sure that can be arranged. We will contact you. In the meantime, keep doing what you're doing. Let them think you're a loose cannon if you want. Let them think you're the penitent son. Whatever you want."

"Sounds easy enough."

The Freak blinked at him. "You're still here?"

"Just leaving. Thanks for the enlightening conversation."

He waved his hand and picked up another milkshake as Masonry got up, grinning.

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