A Scripta

Masonry sat as Orbison sat at the table across from him. Masonry wondered if he was a real person.

"Nice to see you, doc."

Masonry had never been so cordial to a psychologist. If Orbison noticed, he didn't let on. "Masonry. Have you thought about the answer to our question?"

After the events of last night, he had to try to remember what the question was: Is what E and Fyre say always true? With his recent cold, detached clarity, he realized the answer immediately.

"Screw them. They can be wrong. They have been wrong. All this time, all the crap I went through for them. They're wrong."

"You seem to be carrying a lot of anger for them right now."

"Yeah. So?"

"This didn't used to be so, was it?"

"A few times I was pissed at them. When Fyre would show me up. When E would start lecturing, knowing what he was talking about. Ben said we would protect them, but then he started talking about their imperfections..."

"Do you know anyone who doesn't have imperfections?"

"No, of course not."

"So what makes them different?"

"Because I thought they knew what they were doing. I looked up to them. I believed them. They don't know jack shit!" He slammed his hand flat down on the table and got up, turning away from the doctor.

"What changed your mind?"

"I went and took down two ringleaders, by myself. I realized I didn't need them."

"Why does that make you angry with them?"

"They refused me," he said quietly, turning back to the doctor.

"Refused you?"

"They refused my help. Fyre refused me - a long time ago. E... E's said he doesn't need me."

"So you wish to feel needed."

"I want to feel like I'm an integral part of a team. If they can do everything they need to do without me, then they don't need me. He said he only had me for company. Even when I handled a mace..."

"So you believe your presence adds no value? Are you certain they don't need you?"

"They told me three times already that they don't need me. I always think I suck. But I notice Frosty does the same thing. Maybe it comes from being the front-line person."

"You have told me what they say. Based on how they act, do they need you?"

Masonry stared at the hologram, thinking. "I'm helpful, I think. They don't compliment me anymore because they think I'll get a 'bigger head than you already have'. But the Futura guys... they're always helpful and supportive, and we support each other. Even if we're pissed at each other, we'll still help each other. Because it's the team that's important. And we put aside our snarky remarks until after the mission's over. Or we don't gang up on someone. At least we try not to." Masonry clammed up once he realized that he and Synecology unintentionally ganged up on Emerald Flight after a mission, discussing "you time travelers". Masonry never had a problem dealing with that; he had other things on his mind.

"Why is the Futura team different than E and Fyre?"

"I don't know. It didn't used to be like this. We used to be a family."

"What do you think changed?"

"Fyre's got a Warshade running around in her head somewhere. E's deteriorating from radiation and they're going to take away his daughter - who he can't see anymore anyway because of the radioactivity. And I had a perfectionist Peacebringer in my head."

"So you have all changed?"

"Yes, we all did."

"Do the things that originally brought you together no longer exist?"

"I'm not a dumb rock anymore. I'm not so 'endearing' like that. And saying you want to kill somebody kinda puts a damper on your relationship from that point on, don't you think?"
"You told them you wanted to kill them? Why?"

"It was Ben. 'They're imperfect.' But I thought they were too perfect - they used to snipe at each other and now the two of them were so compliant with each other that it was sickening... I was angry that they could do things so well and work in concert together; and..."

" . . . and what?"

"And I was jealous of their relationship together. I kept telling myself it was because I was angry at Fyre for hurting E all those times she sniped at him, that it was the brotherly feelings guys feel whenever a girl hurts them."

"Because you cared for her more than that?"

"I did. And... maybe..." Maybe for E too? He squashed that idea, hard. "Can we go on to something else?"

Orbison nodded. "You do not feel this same anger toward your colleagues in Futura?"

"I did at first, but I realized that I could do things that they couldn't do. And I did things differently with either the same or better results. I could take the hits. Scott can too, but not like me. And when I first joined, I thought I could do that still, but I realized that I can't - but there's another niche that I can fill instead."

"And the female members? How do you feel about them?"

"Lady P's a sweetheart. I love Kit like a sister. Em reminds me of someone who wants to give you a hug, but can't because of social constraints. Syn is a sweetie, too, but she's in love with Jake so I dont' even want to get near her."

"So no anger?"

"Violet's kinda quiet... No, actually, no. Because I'm appreciated. And accepted. I think. Gee, I never thought about why they don't piss me off ..."

"Is there difference between E and Fyre, and Futura, how you think they treat you?" Masonry opened his mouth but the doctor got up. "Our time is up. Please consider that until tomorrow."

The hologram dissolved as Masonry sighed. He got up when the door opened, and muttered, "I always get the hard questions at the end."