A Scripta

6 a.m.

Lodestar knew better. He stayed in the back of Masonry's mind, listening to his rants, how he'd fucking had it with them, with all of them, that he should just stay in the Zig and screw the world. They didn't need him.

E called it a temper tantrum. Lodestar called it venting. Masonry did the mental equivalent of throwing around the furniture. Where else could he safely do that, and not be judged? Lodestar understood and let him. Later Masonry would spend himself, sit down in the middle of the mess, and then be receptive.

Masonry's dreams were full of rage, blood, containing some of Lodestar's memories of war. And the realization that when Masonry turned his back on the world for two minutes, Lodestar stepped out.

You promised not to use my body.

You disappeared--

"You promised," he whispered, and he turned over in the cot, and buried his face into the pillow, biting into it so no one would hear his sob. I trusted you.

Lodestar waited for the emotion to finish washing over him. Then came blazing anger, fury, hate - now directed at him. Lodestar had no where to run and no defense, so he let it toss him around.

You're on their side. I'm not anymore.

A door slammed in Masonry's mind, with Lodestar on the other side of it.

Lodestar sighed internally. He'll come around. He just hoped that a useable host remained when he did.

---------------------------------------------
Breakfast.

"So, I hear that you went AWOL."

He turned to look at the bald Tsoo who now sat next to him. He spoke flatly, so he knew who he was talking to.

"Tell me something."

"Depends."

Masonry waved his hand. "E and Strym. Their relationship."

The Tsoo chuckled. "You already know, Masonry. You just don't want to admit it."

He should have known. The entire discussion of man-crushes over the course of his time when War was there. The task force a long, long time ago when Masonry asked E point blank, "Are you gay?" and his response, "No, I'm not gay." He never followed up with the next obvious question: "Are you bi?"

The Tsoo continued, "You're a lot smarter than they give you credit for. That's really why they hate you."

He knew flattery when he heard it. "I'm not falling for that shit."

"You know that Strym would appreciate you if you joined the team."

Masonry nodded to himself. Now the real reason comes out. "Appreciate me like he did with E? No, I don't want to be his servant or his lover."

"You'd be neither."

"I'd be used and thrown out." He glared at the Tsoo. "I'm sick of that. I'm sick of being used." He pointed at his chest. "I am my own man, I will not be used as a punching bag, I will not be used as a vehicle, I will not be used as a pawn, I will not let them control me. I am going to go out there, go to work, and if my actions don't speak for me then that's too damn bad."

"They did speak for you last night. They proved that you can't handle being your own man."

"What?!"

"When Pace rejected you, you left. Because you wanted to kill him again."

Masonry was going to protest, but the Tsoo was absolutely right.

The Tsoo got up. "You don't take rejection well. You kill the ones who reject you. Especially the ones you love." The Tsoo bent closely to Masonry and said, just loud enough for him to hear, "I think your brotherly love for Pace is a little more than brotherly." Then the Tsoo bowed to Masonry while his eyes widened and the rage boiled directly to the surface. As the Tsoo walked away from him, Masonry wanted to rush at him and tear him apart, but he was in the prison cafeteria. If he acted out here...

He rose stiffly. He walked over toward the door, prisoners glancing at him, seeing his clenched fists, his determined look, and most dove out of his way. The guard in his tunnel vision stood at the ready, and when Masonry got within ten feet, he pointed the quantum gun at Masonry's chest. Five other guards had moved to flank him.

"I need to go back to my cell or into solitary." He had the right to ask for these things, being a psychiatric patient. But he had never asked for this before, and this surprised the guards and prisoners that knew him. The guard nodded, and two of them took him by his arm to lead him out.